On the left, you see the E-Z Go Spine Extractor, it’s purpose: “Removal of undesirable fish spine and other living things has never been easier! For immediate taste-pleasure and easy disposal.”

The spine extractor, although authentic in both cheap design and Engrish product pitch, is a spoof. As is the rather handy looking box next to it, the Yu Wan Mei Device, which “has been completed and is now available for sale.” These parodies are what happens when the Onion gets into gadget marketing, and like anything the Onion does, they’re so close to the truth of our day-to-day gizmo-hunting life that a few tears of knowing pain slip between the mirthful drops from our laughing, watering eyes.

Click over to experience the dangerous joys of Metal Fun, fast-food snack bags filled with filings, shavings and other sharp shards. Or the Yu Wan Mei Loyalty Bracelet, the blurb for which is worth quoting in full:

Show your loyalty to Yu Wan Mei and its line of products in a high-fashion way! The bracelet looks so nice for men or women—even the GPS chip inside is designed with an eye for style. Do not remove the Loyalty Bracelet.

Hot New Consumer Products [The Onion]